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| Rate of Mood: always wish to have a 隨意門
TODAY i really loathe myself!!!! >< everything was soo messed up I wonder what God would think....
i needa be at the recital for my work place, needa be the helper at the wedding, so i should be on time, yet i couldnt....
i should stay for the whole wedding, yet I COULDNT but left early....>< i should be on time for that, yet i was a bit late
though the other people were soo understanding, YET I COULDNT FORGIVE MYSELF!!!! I REALLY CANT FORGIVE MYSELF!!! T^T....
i deserve to be treated poorly, i deserve that....sigh...>< i wish i could have a 隨意門 today
a lot went through my mind these days.....lots of decision to make.....i thought of quitting.......sigh ><
exam is coming,......suddenly i am soo fearful, dear of everything!!! this sem, if it's NOT GOD, i dun think i could survive....
if there's no God, i dunno how helpless, lost, and depressed i could be.....now...im just a bit anxious and fear...
anyway everything will be fine, TWO MORE WEEKS JANE, just two more weeks all exams are over!!! | | |
| Rate of Mood: A BIT DRAINED OUT!!!
so.....the first day of December, finally entering into the MONTH OF MAGIC (haha at least to me!!)
yesterday, didnt really eat much, cause of stomachache, kept going to the washrooms......and even slept late because of the stomachache....><
anyway today i revived haha went back to school, the final assignment of the whole sem was due today
thinking of tomorrow as my last day of school, i was quite happy, BUT on thurs needa go to SG again!!
it's not like i dun like the research opportunity.....happy while a bit......um....haha well it's quite far and sometimes it's not so productive
PLUS THURS I WILL HAVE MY FINAL PRESENTATION!!!! >< sigh lots of presentation this sem @@
yesterday, i was doing my devotional studies on Isaiah 20, one caught me the most is that how Isaiah could sacrifice his own pride for God
and i was examining myself, would i do the same as Isaiah did if God asked me to walk naked and barefoot???
of course it's a symbol, but still would i be able to give ALL TO THEE? just as this year's theme says??? | | |
| Rate of Mood: NEEDA REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME!!!
dunno if anyone recalled that i had mentioned i would leave some people's life before =P haha
well...whenever i said that, i didnt really mean it, BUT THIS I GOTTA MEAN IT FOR REAL!!!! ><
not saying i wont have God's love for those group of people, it's just.....it hurts me so...much.....in some occasion
AGAIN, i dun want anyone thinks that im weak or anything, that i needa be protected from being hurt..NO
NO NO definitely NO, unless you will be there always, dun do that, I DUN WANT IT I DUN WANT MYSELF RELY ON ANY HUMAN BEINGS
more and more times, i found that....there's no one on earth i can confide to....haha......
anyway now i know how you feel now, it was my fault before anyway, so i dun blame you doing the same to me
SO NOW I WOULD REALLY AVOID YOU AND WONT DISTURB YOUR LIFE ANYMORE!!! this time i mean it FOR REAL so please DUN talk to me and give me FALSE HOPE
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| Rate of Mood: TIGHT WEEK @@
I SURVIVE!!! hahaha.....sigh I DID so much wrong things....seems like....sigh.....REALLY NOT SURE IF IM RIGHT OR NOT
anyway yesterday, it was WING YEE'S AND DEREK'S WEDDING!!!! XDD
my first time playing in the wedding, the first time to wear such....dresses, first time to .....hahaha XDD that one i will pass
i was quite high spirited i think throughout the whole event, I and Mr. Danny both were really nervous
haha so before it was started, we were making jokes just to keep others relax hahaha =P
THROUGHOUT the whole wedding event, i did wanna cry at some point haha and i was really glad to see Wing Yee playing the piano ^^
THEN today we got baptism as well, STEVEN was one of them haha i was touched by both testimonies
i hope this will be the same to the non-believers among us hahaha XDD | | |
| Rate of Mood: MOM ><
um....mom left on Saturday already, quite missed her >< hahaa but then we are okay
just today, didnt quite get used to it, the house is sooo quiet that i needa keep playing the CDs
anyway, time starts to click and it's RUNNING SHORT!!! be FOCUSED and dun lose my mind to meaningless thing haha | | |
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